personal post where in i try to articulate my feelings about where my life has gone/is going

I identify as a bitch fucked by lil b.

When you get to my door

tell’em Boris sent you

One car, Two buses, Five trains, Two nice old lesbians discussing vampires, and a weatherman

rappy new year motherfuckers

What I learned in 2012 (pre-return of the plumed snake)

personal post w/ read more break

I thought i was really big into tonic/soda

and then i found a circle of people RP as different brands.

shit

i am bested

personal post

thing that happened to me

How to succeed in CN w/ out really trying

Ay-EL

image

Titles

River Walker 

the man in the hat

The soaked man

the Celestial rouge 

AdjectiveThe drown

HomeThe Seas

AlignmentChaotic neutral

Portfolio

Trickery

luck
madness
sailing

Sailors, mercenary, theves, gamblers

Grippli, mermaids, cactaurs, most sea life

Cleric AlignmentsCG NN CN CE

Domains Water, charm, trickery
, Madness, Luck

Subdomainsflotsam, insanity, Deception,  Lust, Thievery

Favored WeaponImprovised weapon

The worshipers of Ay-El are a varied lot: Gamblers letting it all ride, fishermen unsure if they will come back w/ the big catch or not come back at all, or anyone who knows that life is pandemonium. known to take a the form of a man drenched in water and mettle in the affers of mortals, Ay-El is a flippant god who acts seemingly at random, just as likely to shower his followers w/ gifts and and he is to sink the very earth under their feet.

there is no formal church/clergy: the river walker often personally empowers individuals who please him and press them into service as his agents (his clerics typicality aren’t told what they did to gain this power or really any clear instruction). this leads to a some people who are looking to pay it forward and others who just lash out against esblishment

he has never raised up an avatar, choosing instead to step on the mortal plane   

In the beginning when the gods came together He claimed the sea as his domain, and used this dawning age to great sea life as he was fascinated w/ the fluid, unpredictable nature of the sea. he set about populating the seas w/ all manner of strange life, supplementing the existing flora and fauna w/ all manner of strange sea life: squids, pufferfish, electric eels all were all beginning. from there he set about making the great sea monsters that make the seas a foreboding places for inexperienced seamen.  but he grew jealous of  of all the commotion that was going on in wilmos  so he took a long walk in land and drag the seas w/ him, much to the chagrin of everything living in the way

there are countless tales of what he did in the time betwixt then and they rarely make sense and constantly contradict, the most famous of which was is excursion to the shifting sands of the wilmos great desert where he began courting the cactar people he was fascinated w/ the plantmen and wooed them w/ his silvery tongue and gifts of water, he gave them the secites to mix hard sand (something not quite adobe and not quite cement) which was made them sought after builders who’s desert settlements dot the landscape. they are constantly serching for water and treat it as a holy sacrament. they take there time, work w/ care and prize wit

His first attempt at creating amphibious life was the mermen, a hardy race who scrape out a living in the north sea, they can go onland but they fins prevent them from  excelling. he tiered of them quickly and he abandoned them, they are tougher for it, they formed the black shell an order dedicated to watching out for the people (as their god sure isn’t) they have a survive oriented culture as they have to battle the odd fauna that ay-el has also tired of. there have been many attempt to win the favor of their creator  including an ill fated siege of the volcano roots to the north 

His chosen people are the grippli, a colorful race of small and the completed version of his vision of an amphibious race but he gave them pride by stealing the colors of the river flowers which led to infighting and strong tribalism. they have scraped out a territory  due in large part to the signature weapon, GUNS! ( given through a little love form their patron) the are they sole producers of black sand, a volatile compound that is a closely guarded secret.they are nible little fuckers who are quick to fighter and are on the whole on big on law and order

On this historic day we have won a great victory for the right to get married at the mall

Your 2012-13 Charlotte Bobcats

  • kyle: hey can you help me pretend i care about the nba
  • jordan: yeah sure I guess, would you like me to get you hyped up or something
  • Kyle: that sounds good, the light is faiding on this nhl season, basicly i want you to sell me on the bobcats
  • Jordan: ok,Bobcats:got MKG
  • Kyle: word
  • Jordan: MKG is mad cool yo,number 2 draft pick,super good and they got kemba walker
  • he's just a winner man
  • and bismack biyombo
  • Kyle: winners don't lose
  • Jordan: he's from the congo and his name almost rhymes with it
  • Kyle: good now i know how to say it
  • Jordan: and his name has smack in it because he smacks the ball away from the hoop,
  • smack smack
  • Kyle: Mutombo 2.0
  • Jordan: and uh Byron Mullins, he is so white and he plays ball with prisoners
  • during the offseason because thats what cool dudes do I guess
  • and tyrus thomas, he's like the brophy of the team
  • Kyle: he sounds like a star treck captan
  • Jordan: he does shit and people are like wtf tyrus thomas why did you shit on the court
  • but sometimes he does good stuff too and makes us all forget
  • very rarely though
  • and ramon sessions
  • he was a laker
  • now he's on the fucking bobcats
  • Kyle: did he lose a bet?
  • Jordan: cause hes a dumbfuck and thought he was better than he is
  • and ben gordon is a motherfucking microwaive
  • he's like
  • I'm 6'3" and I'm going for 63 cause I'm jacking up shots like its nobodies business
  • and their coach is some college fuck who likes trying new shit and shit
  • and their arch rival is the magic this season
  • Kyle: can you email this to the bobcats front office because i think this would actually get people to see the bobcats
  • Jordan: because the magic has a roster of homeless people too
  • so they're gonna have a homeless off
  • and thats everything I know about the bobcats
  • more or less
  • Kyle: you say that like that isn't more then MJ knows about the roster
  • Jordan: that was off the top of my head

Anonymous: fag

yup, its the internet

THANK YOU BASED BABY HORSE!

Amanda Palmer

Ingredients

1 can, Arnold Palmer (half iced tea and lemonade)

1 shot Absinthe 

Instructions

Take a healthy swig of the Arnold Palmer

Pour in the shot

Shake to combine 

for jon: that’s the dance 

(Source: im-a-walking-paradox, via michael-danger)